So my current obsession is INSTAGRAM – and to show how bad it is I will reveal and pretty desperate fact about me. I DO NOT own a smartphone, IPod or internet tablet of any kind. I know I sound like some sort of mythical creature that doesn’t exists in this day and age but for real y’all – I’M REAL. A fully grown adult woman with just a “old school” cell phone – nothing smart about my electronics. Now how does one person become addicted to Instagram without the necessary tools??? You bum off your siblings and cousins – the people that love you and won’t judge you for your problem.
In true crack head fashion – I find a way, EVERY DAY, to have my Instagram fix. I’ll use my sisters phone during our lunch outings, I’ll use my little brother’s phone when we’re at home and I’ll even use my MOTHERS phone if we’re just sitting around. Now pause and stop for a moment, did any of you catch what I just said?? My MOTHER has a smartphone and I do not….let me add to that….my FOREIGN MOTHER has a smart phone and I do not! Getting facebook pulled up for her is always an adventure BUT in my mother’s defense – she can kill you all in bejewled! SHO NUFF YOOOOO! Now before you point those judgmental fingers at me for being cheap, lazy or a data vulture………well actually you can point them right at me for all of those reasons. I convinced myself I did not want a smartphone and that I was better off without one? Why would I ever use it? I never listen to music! I don’t take pictures! You all can now point at me and yell “LIAR”, “CHEAP”, “GIRL BYE”(make sure you get your neck swerve on and that lovely hood accent please), “BEAUTIFUL GODDESS”…..okay so the last one was just something I’d like for someone to yell at me at the top of their lungs.
I don’t even know how it started – I was so anti-phone to begin with. I hated carrying the thing around with me and I really hated people calling me, if you guys have picked on the fact that I was very anti-social then I must ask what gave me away?! I also hated to be checked up on constantly I kinda liked to just drift around and do my own thing – don’t asked me why I was such a cold hard bitch – **sing in my best lady gaga voice** BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY! Once I did finally get my phone and downloaded that Mario coin ring tone for my text messages – I realized how much fun a phone was. I got hooked on text messages, pictures messages and TWITTER. For a girl who hates being checked up – I sure did tweet a lot.
Then I moved onto Instagram because my sister got tired of having to show me the pictures she liked or thought was funny. She said she wanted to be able to tag me so I could see it when I finally got my own phone. So I said okay make me a profile and tag the f**k out of my name…..which she did. I found that my favorite hash tags so far are #seemslegit or #nailedit! I also LOVE the filters – they make me all pale and youthful! I started uploading a few pictures – and then by the end of the night I had almost as many pictures as my sister did – we’re talking about almost 100 pictures in 1 day! I didn’t see the world through regular eyes anymore – I saw them through Instagram filters.
If only they would let me Instagram through my computer then I’d be on that W.O.W level addiction – leaving only for pee breaks and food…maybe. Even as I type this – I want to take photos of me typing and put a cute filter and then hash tag that b***h like there is no tomorrow. I’m surrounded by cute things that would def get a couple of likes – I just know it would make that popular page! Okay I’m going to step away from my keyboard and go out into that thing called sunshine and get some much needed endorphins. Also my keyboard is starting to look like a Ruzzle board – I’ve already made a couple of words and I was wondering how many points they would have been worth